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Change your Habits, Change your Life

Many of us try to make lifestyle changes, but the results are often hit and miss. Here are some tips to ensure that you’re a hit.

Be in it for the long haul

Changing your health behaviour is something to do for the rest of your life. If you have that attitude, you won’t get impatient or disappointed. It’s like the Pantene ad: “it won’t happen overnight, but it will happen”.

Set a goal that inspires you

Accomplishing this goal should leave you proud and satisfied. Make sure it’s something you WANT to do, not something you think you SHOULD do. Your goal will be a pointer to the kinds of actions you need to take.

Give it priority

Exercise, shopping for good food, preparing food, taking time to relax, and so on, take time. The only way you’ll find that time is to prioritise yourself and your wellbeing. Put it in your diary and don’t give that time away. You may have to leave whatever you are working on at the time to do it. That’s OK. Of course you can get others to do your shopping or cooking, but exercise is another matter.

Recognise what you do that works

A good place to start in changing behaviour is to identify what you already do well. For instance, if you want to overhaul your diet, and you don’t skip meals or overeat, congratulations, you’re two steps along the road to success already! The most effective access to a new behaviour is often to tweak what you currently do, so get clear on what you do that works.

Start with what’s easier

If you’re more comfortable modifying your diet than being active, start with your diet. When you’ve made some ground, look at how to take the next step. Make it easy on yourself.

Develop competence

If you haven’t paid attention to your diet or had a regular exercise routine before, then these are areas you’ll need to develop some mastery in. Create long- and short-term goals and milestones, and celebrate your successes. The most important factor in successfully changing your health behaviour is believing you can do it, and the key to this belief is building your competence.

Know yourself

If you need a lot of structure and a social environment, don’t try to exercise on your own. Similarly, if you love your own space don’t sign up for a class at a busy gym.

Identify role models

Role models can provide a real incentive to create a healthy lifestyle. A role model might be someone at work, a friend, even your Mum or sister — someone who makes you think “if they can do it, so can I”.

Be satisfied with baby steps

We’re all busy, so be satisfied with getting one new behaviour underway and don’t be frustrated that you haven’t changed everything at once. Take the time you need to turn one behaviour into a new habit before you worry about the next one. And remember that….

Everything counts

Don’t have time for a 45 minute exercise class this morning? No problem, have a 10 minute stretch instead. Take a brisk 10 minute walk outside at lunchtime. Use the stairs at work. Take stretch breaks from sitting at your desk. And when you pick up the drycleaning on the way home, park a block away and walk. It’s all physical activity and it’s all beneficial. Relate to yourself as an active woman and look for opportunities to move each day.

It’s gotta be fun

University of Michigan researcher, Dr Michelle Segar, says that although many women start exercise to lose weight or to stay healthy, those reasons won’t keep us going in the long run. Unless we enjoy it, and it contributes to our quality of life, we won’t stick with it. That’s why many women opt for walking — it doesn’t really seem like ‘exercise’. You can do it with friends and have a laugh, or by yourself to shake off the stress of the day.

According to Dr Segar, “there are so many good reasons to exercise, like stress relief, to feel energized, to be stronger, to balance your life, to just get away by yourself, or for a better sense of wellbeing”. If you don’t fancy the idea of ‘exercise’, think ‘activity’ and do it in a way that compliments your lifestyle. Similarly, you won’t stick to dietary changes you don’t like, so forget what you think you should eat and find a way to eat healthily that you enjoy.

Keep things interesting for yourself, e.g. have a variety of things you like to eat for breakfast, change your walking route, and do different exercise on different days.

Don’t compare yourself

One of the major benefits of taking charge of your health is the sense of confidence and self-esteem it provides, so set your own goals and challenges rather than comparing yourself with others.

Create support structures

Your friend knocking on your front door at 6.00am in the morning for your walk together is a great support structure. Personal trainers and group exercise sessions are also structures for supporting you to do things you otherwise wouldn’t do on your own. Whether you call them supports, strategies or structures, most of us need something outside of ourselves to help us stick to new behaviours.

Many women are awful at asking for support. We’d rather soldier on alone and fail than say we need help. We think we should just have enough willpower. Gals, forget willpower. Human beings and willpower aren’t a great mix. Instead, work out what structures would set you up to succeed at what you want to accomplish. A buddy — someone with a similar goal to you — is a huge asset, so be on the lookout for someone to join you.

Ensure that your environment supports what you’re up to. Create a special meditation space. Put your exercise clothes out before you go to bed. Have your drink bottle filled and ready to go. Toss out the junk food in the pantry. Put your goals where you’ll see them. And...

Identify the barriers

Creating a new habit is simple in theory: just do it, and keep doing it. Same with breaking an old habit: don’t do it. The trouble is that other things intervene and stop us from succeeding at both of those. Common roadblocks include being busy at work, caring for others, stress, injury, and illness. Make sure you have strategies for addressing the things that could stop you.

Create a support team

Look around your life and identify who you can count on to be supportive in your new venture. Get them on board. Tell them what you’re up to, ask for their support and share your experience along the way. When you slip up, call on them. Don’t try to do the same thing with unsupportive people, and you’ll save yourself a lot of grief. If unsupportive folk say something negative, just let it go.

Get back on the horse

Be prepared to fail. When you do, get back on the horse. Don’t waste time being dramatic and resigned about it; just get going again. Tomorrow is another day.

Be willing to reassess

If you’ve failed repeatedly, check that this new behaviour is really what you want. If it is, do you need a different activity, a fresh location, a different time of day, or a new approach? Be willing to go back to the drawing board. Remember, these are forever changes, so take the time to get them right.

There’s no good and bad, right and wrong

Many of us talk about ‘good’ and ‘bad’ foods. If we go to the gym and have fruit and yoghurt for breakfast we’re ‘good’, but if we sleep in and start the day with a hot chocolate we’re ‘bad’. Then we get down on ourselves for being bad. There’s nothing moral about food and exercise, so don’t let yourself talk like that.

The power of context

What’s there for you when you think about being healthy? If it’s hard work, boring, a struggle, a waste of time, or something else just as uninspiring, recognize that you made that up, and it only exists because you keep saying it to yourself. It’s also a great way to set yourself up to fail. You might as well make up something that will get you out of bed each day. Who could you be that would be empowering? An energizer bunny? Electrifying? Someone who flies through the day with ease? A sex siren? You decide!

Be a glass-half-full person

It’s easy to find excuses if you go looking for them. It’s too hot, it’s too cold, you’re too tired, you’re too busy…. Don’t have conversations with yourself about whether to exercise or not. Just get started and the rest takes care of itself.

Deal with the emotion

If you’ve failed to stick to your new behaviour, are you sabotaging yourself? If you got fat to punish your husband, and you’re still angry at him, then NOTHING will have you succeed at your game to get healthy. All your plans, structures and good intentions will be a waste of time because you’re still playing the old game. You have to deal with the emotional factors that stop you from taking care of yourself before you can expect to create new plans and be successful.

Permission to brag!

When you reach a milestone, let people know, especially your support team. Pat yourself on the back and let others acknowledge you too. Find a way to celebrate and mark the occasion. You deserve it!

Further reading

See Dr Michelle Segar’s website at www.essentialsteps.net

Fiona Cosgrove Coach Yourself to Wellness (2005)

 
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